In this From the Mound, the writer looks at the first ten years of marriage
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“Ordinary no, I really don’t think so
Just a precious few
Ever make it last
Get as lucky as
Me and you”
“Me and You” — Kenny Chesney
Originally released as a filler song in 1995’s “All I Need to Know” album, Kenny Chesney saw “Me and You” getting plenty of radio-requested airplay from those who owned the album.
He then chose to make the song the title track of his 1996 album, the third major studio recording of his career. The song was released as a single and soared up the country charts, peaking at No. 2.
“Me and You” was released early in Chesney’s career and was his biggest success to that point. He wouldn’t hit the top spot of the charts with a single until his fourth album, when “She’s Got It All” from his “I Will Stand” album, reached the top spot of country charts in 1997.
Interestingly, the title tune of that 1997 album factored into the decision that makes “Me and You” a worthy feature song for this week.
As I prepared to serve as the officiant for my cousin’s wedding in August 2013, my fiance and I sat in our hotel room and went through music for our own wedding, which would take place the following year.
We narrowed the song choices down to a dozen or so and both “Me and You” and “I Will Stand” by Chesney were in that initial pared-down group. We made the choice to only have one song by an artist in our music rotation, and “Me and You” won out.
Growing up in a very musical family, there was no doubt that music was going to feature prominently in a wedding ceremony, especially as I’d waited until my mid-30s to get married!
My uncle Bob and his children provided a significant amount of the music at the ceremony, but Bob sang solo on this song, which we played as we each poured our individual tubes of sand into a jar in a unity ceremony in the midst of the nuptials.
There are so many great memories from that day, but from the first day we began planning our wedding, we made the conscious choice that we were getting married, not “wedding’d” that day, so we focused on things and people that we intended to have as part of our long-term future, not just pouring money and experiences into one day.
Ten years later, one of the notable things to me looking back at that day is who is not here now among those who shared in our big day. I was blessed to have all four grandparents present on my wedding day, and in the ensuing decade, I’ve had to bid goodbye to three of them. In the spring of 2023, the man who walked my bride down the aisle passed away as well.
In fact, one of the memorable moments to both of us from our reception was when our emcee asked those in the crowd who had been married more than 50 years to stand. I believe there were a dozen couples present with that amount of longevity, not to mention multiple couples with 60+ years of marriage. Sadly, many of those have passed, but they each added advice or direct assistance in our young marriage as we got on our feet.
If the phrase about raising children is “it takes a village,” we certainly have benefitted in “raising” our marriage from its infancy by having a tremendous village to support us.
A relationship that began online in a chat room has blossomed into a home with four children, three dogs, and certainly never a dull moment.
I’m blessed to have a partner who mutually loves to invest back into one another, without the need for material things to signify that commitment. We’ve not really gifted one another for birthdays or Christmas or Valentine’s Day, and we try to model the “presence over presents” mentality around holidays and birthdays with our children.
(That doesn’t mean that I’m not hunting clearance chocolate for my wife after important chocolate-based holidays, though!)
We have both passed up potentially major career advancements in order to begin our parenting journey as foster parents and then as we’ve worked through the challenges that have come with adopting children through the foster care system.
It’s a journey that I cannot imagine without her by my side, supporting one another during some really difficult challenges.
We haven’t been perfect in our marriage or in our parenting journey, but we strive to be better every day for one another.
Is that remarkable? I don’t feel so, but as the song says, only a precious few get so lucky as to do life with an amazing partner who is consistently striving to do the next day even better than the last.
I love you, Marie, and I cannot wait to experience what life has in store in the next 10 years!