“Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree
Won’t be the same, dear
If you’re not here with me”
“Blue Christmas” - Elvis Presley

The song “Blue Christmas” was originally written just after World War II and struggled to find someone willing to record it.

In 1948, Doye O’Dell was the first to record it, but the song took off the next year when three separate recordings were all released. Ernest Tubb’s version even reached No. 1 on Billboard’s most-played juke box songs.

Multiple other versions were released before Presley got ahold of the song in 1957 as part of Elvis’ Christmas Album (catchy album title, isn’t it?).

The song has been covered multiple times since Elvis as well, with the Beach Boys releasing a version in 1964 and most recently Kane Brown charting with the song just last year.

Elvis was very well-versed on jazz and blues music, and some minor alterations that he did in his version to the background vocals gave the song a blues “feel” that has led to his version enduring as a classic Christmas tune, even though the subject of the song hasn’t changed from the difficult-to-sell version from the mid-1940s.

The main reason the song was hard to sell still persists today - people don’t want to think of “sad” things during the holiday season. While the song has become to be understood as a song about lost love, the original writers of the song have stated that the song was originally written from the view of a soldier, writing home from the war.

We’ve known for decades that depression rates increase during the holiday season.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) notes that 64% of those who are living with a persistent mental illness report that their already-present condition is more intense during the holiday season.

The American Psychological Association has reported that nearly 40% of people surveyed in a general population survey state that their stress levels are heightened during the holiday season.

This is on top of season disorders that are more prevalent as the seasons change, including seasonal affective disorder where the chemical balance within the brain is affected by the limited exposure to natural light that occurs as days shorten, reaching the shortest day just ahead of Christmas Day.

Then you add in that for many, this particular holiday is the first one without a loved one, and you can understand that not everyone is bouncy and cheerful about the holiday season.

In our home, the loss of a father and grandfather during the year are hitting home as holiday plans are put together, with the adults and kids both realizing that there will be someone absent from holiday gatherings this year.

How can we help those in our lives who are processing these major life changes?

An article on seasonal mood disorders from NAMI has a tremendous line, “You don’t have to understand how someone is feeling to have respect for it.”

Simply being there and listening can mean the absolute world to someone in a “down” spot this time of year.

Frankly, while depression can happen at any time of the year, there is a level of embarrassment and even guilt associated with those feelings during a “happy” time of year. It can be a terribly isolating feeling to look around at those celebrating and not feel “in the mood” for a party.

For many, the holiday blues are not something that simply passes, or they can be so intense that it is a healthy thing as a friend or family member to gently suggest meeting with a mental health professional.

Offering to be there in any manner possible that your loved one requests around the first appointment will lead to significantly higher rates of actually showing up and actively participating in such an appointment.

If it is perhaps you that is struggling with doldrums this holiday season, a few things to keep in mind…

First, “no” is a complete sentence and a full answer. You need to be able to set boundaries for yourself in your grief, in your struggle, in whatever you’ve got going on right now in order to give yourself the space to heal.

Second, physicality is your friend. No, that doesn’t mean you need to be at the gym for three hours each day or train for a marathon during December, but being conscious to move your body, within the limits of your physical abilities, of course, can help to get some of those positive mental chemicals associated with movement flowing.

Finally, talk with someone. Perhaps you don’t feel that you are at the point of needing to speak with a mental health professional. That’s fine.

However, holding in the guilt, shame, hurt, grief, embarrassment, sadness, and even fear that can be associated with this season will only compound it. Talk with your partner, a friend, a family member, whomever, but talk with someone!

More than anything, whether it’s you who’s struggling or someone you love, lead with kindness. Every person’s response to the season is individual and all are equally valid. Give credence to down feelings and accept that they are not a negative mark on the person feeling them - that will help the healing process significantly.

Just as dozens of singers have now recorded a song discussing sadness during this season, accepting that it is normal and real is the first step.